matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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