this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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