Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
