I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
