Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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