I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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