Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
