Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
