So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Randomize
