APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
