I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
