woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
