so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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