Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
