But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
