you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
