How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize