think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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