You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
