I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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