Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
