YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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