Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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