i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
