just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I heard we made out
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
