no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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