fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
