Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
