You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize