so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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