Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She even gives head with a lisp.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
