Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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