Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
