He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
