i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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