so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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