hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I die, sorry about rent.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
