I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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