About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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