i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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