I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Couch. On fire.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize