"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
