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• (212): View more from New York

  i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  The strip club called, they have your shoe.

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• (949): View more from California

  I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library

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• (516): View more from New York

  New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.

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• (805): View more from California

  Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run

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• (435): View more from Utah

  The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.

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