I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
