so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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