I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
