Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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