i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
