And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
