Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
