Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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