just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
