Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
