What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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