Banned from zoo.
Again?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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