just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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