Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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