mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
