I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
