I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
