i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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