Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
