Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
