I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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