a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
