so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
