the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
