Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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