just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
