I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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