If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
