She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
