My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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