Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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