I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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