he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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